15 August, 2009

EMOTIONAL PURITY

gave this lecture to ACTS last July..... read on.......
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

I. Emotional Intimacy – a close, private relationship that would invoke strong feelings, passions, and the senses.

Emotional Intimacy will bring about physical intimacy. It is the kind of closeness and familiarity that stirs feelings and senses that promote a bond, a union that God reserves for the marriage relationship.
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all” (Hebrews 13:4a)

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[
b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:22-32

COMMITMENT produces intimate relationships, in that God-given order.

We must re-sensitize ourselves to the importance of guarding our hearts from the “just friends” battle wounds.

Heart check: How is your level of intimacy with the Lord?

II. Emotional Purity – is when you prevent yourself from sharing your heart and your deep emotional feelings to members of the opposite sex.
(Compare dating 100 years ago to this new generation – not much emotion involved!)
- define or clear out intentions
- do not “over-share” especially to someone of the opposite sex (“emotional strip tease” is very common during camp and bible studies/small groups)
-do not spend one-on-one time with members of the opposite sex alone

When you experience intimacy without commitment you are playing with the heart of a fellow brother or sister in Christ and will violate emotional purity.

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16

III. Defrauding – means to have more, or to gain or take advantage of another, to overreach; to swindle, to cheat.
You defraud people when you use them, or cheat them of something they need to save for someone else; teasing them with what they couldn’t have; playing with the emotions or expectations of someone in which you do not expect to righteously satisfy.

3It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. I Thessalonians 4:3-6

A man’s tender attention and smooth words can steal a girl’s heart. However, the young girl in Song of Solomon requests repeatedly not to arouse or awake her love until she pleases.
Men, when you treat a young lady as “special” you may be whetting her appetite for marriage. And if you tell a woman that you are just friends yet your behaviour treats her more than a friendship, she will believe your behaviour rather than your words!

We all understand the beauty of saving our physical bodies for our mates. How much more wonderful if we saved our emotions as well?


When one avoids defrauding, blessings will follow.


IV. Commitment equals protection
18This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. 19Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:18, 19

Without a solid commitment in a relationship, the walls around the heart are not protected. Commitment equals protection. When a man and a woman become emotionally and spiritually intimate without commitment, one of the two things will happen: they will marry or they will break up. God the protector asks us to “guard our hearts for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23)
Guarding your heart will require you to discern when to share and when to hold back.

V. The Prize of Life
The prize of life is a relationship with our Creator. To look to anything else to fill that gap will not bring about satisfaction. God designed marriage but He designed us to be complete when we are with Him. Marriage is not the answer to eternal bliss. To give it that much credit is taking away credit from the Creator. Marriage is a blessing, not THE BLESSING! A deeper walk with the Lord is not to be brought about by marriage alone, but by reading His Word, talking to Him, obeying Him and giving Him praise, glory and honor.

VI. God’s Plan for your single years
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 1 Cor. 7:32 -35

Why do so many unmarried people have a hard time facing their singleness head on? Mainly because many singles keep themselves wrapped up in activities that do not foster a love relationship with Christ. They do things they want to do (selfishness), without counting the cost paid. They live in the here and now, without a thought of the future. This focus on self permeates this life stage and in many people the years of being single become a wasteland of me, myself, and I, with little concern of serving and enjoying God.

Jesus was in His thirties and not married. He knew God’s will clearly. He was secure in His position with the Father and His purpose was apparent. Therefore, He kept His undivided attention on the Father.

"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Luke 2:49

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. John 4:34

I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. John 17:4

When singles keep their attention and energy focused on themselves and not on a love relationship with God, they miss out on many activities that would bring about deep satisfaction ENJOYING AND SERVING THE CREATOR SHOULD BE OUR NUMBER ONE GOAL, and this period in our life allows for 100 percent attention on GOD

This undivided attention to the Lord is the point of single life!

CONTENTMENT is not the “gift” of celibacy, nor it is the magic key that gives God a go ahead to send a spouse your way. Being content does not mean giving up hope.

What you do need to do to make sure you align with God’s Plan in your single life?

I Continue to seek Him with all you have
“dying to what you want and replacing it with what God wants”

II Make sure that you are serving God.
When you are seeking Him first He can do awesome things and open doors of ministry you thought were impossible.

III Make yourself emotionally UNAVAILABLE to the opposite sex.
If you saw God as your mate, how jealous would He be over you?

When we pray from the selfishness of our hearts for a mate, it can be compared to going to your spouse and asking for money for a prostitute because your spouse is not satisfying you. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures James 4:3

IV Ask God to enrol you in His “Wife or Husband Training Program.”
The Holy Spirit is our teacher, and if you know deep in your heart that your desire to be married is from the Lord, then asks Him to prepare you.


Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

COMMITMENT:

“For better days or for worse days, I accept what God has for me as a single person. He will not keep me unmarried a day longer than He plans. I will save my emotions for God’s plan and I will forgo the games singles play!”

MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS CONTENT WITH THE LORD ALONE!

Made this lecture from the book, Emotional Purity of Heather Arnel Paulsen July 2009

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