17 June, 2009

Let God Do The Choosing!

If men were like buses, how do you catch one?
A more important questions is - how do you catch the RIGHT one?
Simple : You take only the bus that's headed the RIGHT direction.
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second,the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before its made on an emotional one.What about love?, you ask. I'll tell you why.
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9)
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently - it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right directions:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23 ).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believet hat the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts.So when you do gather facts, let us compare the process to clothes shopping.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God? Scripture is clear on this : "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14 ).You need to have common interest and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going your direction, get off the bus & wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord"( Prov 18:22). Note- who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy. Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price inhis life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. A woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it : "We love him because he first loved us" (1 Jn 4:19).Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of menin your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to bea suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out therest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem alwayssomeone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check outthe man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is your guy guided by a sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally,cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is flounderingin a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with.You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ.Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9.Complementarity. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts inan attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes.When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are?The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel -because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to fee l unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should bericher in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of yourdreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heartand spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure theman in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of yourlove for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.S o you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for thehand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.
Your prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me.Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus Name. Amen.

07 June, 2009

I wish I was a child like that!

Matthew 18
The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven
1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
2He called a little child and had him stand among them.
3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.
6But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
It was a Sunday morning, I went to church and was very excited because Pastor JP is preaching again. I really enjoyed the messages he shared during our 2 day retreat on SINGLES MAX - Living Life to the Max!
I sat third row from the front of the theatre where I would always do together with my housemate. During Praise and Worship, I saw this little girl Revekah, (we call her "vecky" in Sunday School) dancing with all her might as we praise and sing "One Way" to our Lord Jesus Christ. This little sweetheart is just around 5 years old and was on the very front row of the theatre. I smiled as I sang and told the Lord, "bless the little children who come and worship you like that little girl infront, I wish I was a child like that!".
As the worship progressed, this little girl didn't stop. She was swaying her arms, raising it up and down, kneeling,bending, bowing down; basically doing her own interpretative dance on all the worship songs being sang. I was amazed at her passion and creativity! At one point, I was soooooo tempted to run beside her and just dance with her for all I care!!!! hahaha
As I continued to watch, I told the Lord, "I wish all the people of God in all ages can just freely worship Him just like that. No inhibitions, no fears, no ifs and buts......... and again, I wish I was a child like that"!
You know, children are amazing!
They teach us a lot of things - more that we can ever imagine! They are innocent, pure, void of malice, transparent, contented, humble, obedient, trustworthy, dependent............... (deep sigh)
I wish I was a child like that.................
Because at this point of my life,
A child-like faith is what I need.
A child-like humility is what I long for.
A child-like surrender is what I need to do.
I wish I am Vecky.
I wish I was a child like that.......
"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

04 June, 2009

Serving an Audience of ONE

The ultimate test of servanthood is whether you can be content to serve an audience of One, when it’s OK to serve in anonymity, when you can throw yourself into a bit part, when you no longer live for the approval of others, when the size of your audience doesn’t matter anymore, and when the size of the role you play is less important than being faithful and obedient.
Greg Ferguson

It’s such a strong temptation to live for man’ applause
But I don’t want to buy into the lie ‘cause I know that’s not a worthy cause
So to keep things in perspective, I hung a signed up on the wall

The sign is nothing special, but it really says it all
And the sign says

I’ll be content to serve an audience of One
Only His approval counts when all is said and done
And this is my prayer, when the race is finally run
I want to hear “Well done” from the Audience of One

When the drive for recognition starts to get the best of me
All I’ve got to do is look around at the people serving selflessly
And they don’t serve for glory, and they are not keeping score
There’s a sign that’s written on their hearts
A sign I’ve seen before

I’ll be content to serve an audience of One
Only His approval counts when all is said and done
And this is my prayer, when the race is finally run
I want to hear “Well done” from the Audience of One

In the not-too-distant future
When the crowds all fade away
I’ll stand alone before my Lord
And this is what I long to say

I’m overjoyed to serve an audience of One
It’s what I’ve been created for ever since day one
And this is my song, as I bow before Your throne
I love to hear “Well done” from the audience of One

So this will be my prayer, ‘til the race is finally run
I want to hear “Well done,” I long to hear “Well done”
I want to hear “Well done” from the audience of One